Imaginary Sanitary

First came auto flush toilets followed by auto faucets. Some public washrooms now have auto soap dispensers that ejaculate the right amount of liquid into your wet palm. These conveniences are not about hygiene, but about saving money. But that hasn’t stopped the good people at Lysol—probably the #1 germ fighting brand—from offering home auto dispensers as a must-have  to save your family from heaven-knows-what that is lurking on that liquid soap bottle.

There is just a teeny flaw in this pitch. What do you do immediately after touching the so-called germy soap pump? YOU WASH YOUR HANDS! That’s why you touched the bottle in the first place. Any agent of infection you might pick up touching that tiny plunger is eradicated within seconds by the soap emitted from said plunger. Hygiene problem solved.

Are dirty liquid soap dispensers really a problem? According to the Hand Washing Fact Sheet of the Wisconsin Department of Health, soap bottles only need to be cleaned when refilled. Or use bar soap that is a whole lot cheaper.

And don’t get me started on the True Clean Towel (watch their video at your own risk). It never occurred to me that the portion of bath towel that touched my face this morning may have dried a more discreet section of my epidermis yesterday. Ewww, gross! But wait a second—wasn’t that, um, foot scrubbed with body wash and rinsed in plenty of hot water? So it was clean, fresh, odor free and exfoliated when it got toweled wasn’t it? Oh well, nevermind.


Schifino Lee

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